Aku tak tengok lagi cerita Papadom... tapi article ni similar to that story... Che ta antar email... so hari ni baru baca... and aku mmg menangis baca article ni... sbb?? Iyolah... temankan nak bersalin... kalau umur ku setakat kelahiran anak aku macammana nasib dia ( baby) dan jugak suami ku...
Ermmm Zamani mungkin ler bole cari ganti tapi kasih sayang seorg ibu dan ibu tiri tu sama ke? Tah la... kadang2 benda ni bermain jugak kat kepala otak aku ni... tiap kali aku berdoa semoga Allah beri kesempatan tuk aku melihat, membesarkan anak yang bakal lahir ini... tapi kita hanyalah manusia yang mampu merancang, segala di jalankan olehNya... kalau itu dah tertulis buat diri ku, maka aku kena hadapi... begitu jugak dengan suami dan anak aku,kan?
Korang baca la... mmg sedih sangat...
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I watched Papadom last week and coincidently on the next day I received the following article from a friend through the email. It touched my heart, both the movie and the article. Although they are not exactly the same, but the line of story is pretty similar; what will happen when God loves Mummy more and take her away.
4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid, because that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice left overs, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child. With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!
Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation :
"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore left over rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you because I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad... "
At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries.
After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.
A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.
However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games.
I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, "I am sorry, Dad." But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....
Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. Because he makes me proud too!Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed.
It's winter,and it's Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by... Christmas carols and frantic shoppers.... but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood.
He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, "I'm sorry, Dad" and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was, "The letters were for Mummy." My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him:"But why did you post so many letters, at one time?"My son's reply was, " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....I told my son,"Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy."
My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn't help opening the letter before they turn to ash. And one of the letters broke my heart....
Dear Mummy, I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn't help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason.
Mummy, every day I see Dad missing you and whenever he thinks of you, he is so sad and often hides and cries in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams.
But mummy, why haven't you appear? After reading the letter, I can't stop sobbing because I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....
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Sedihkan??? sob sob... memang la org kata jangan pikir bukan2... ada kalanya aku terpikir jugak bagaimana kalau Allah tidak mengizinkan aku tuk terus hidup bersama-sama keluargaku lagi? Adakah situasi itu akan berlaku? ermmm....
Dear hubby....
I will always love you... always and will be no others.... thank you coz u being such wonderful husband... and i know you will be a gud father as well... hugzzzz...
The Half Blood Princess
-With me,You'll Never Walk Alone-
To my beloved auntie... Mak cu... Semoga mak cu di panjangkan umur dan di murahkan rezeki selalu... along sayanggggggg mak cu.... muaks muaks....
Dua bijik... ini la buah delima tu... ermmm aku pernah la makan, tapi kecik2 dulu... sbb Nenek singapore aku suke sangat beli... tapi dan besar2 ni aku rasa macam leceh sikit...
Zamani larang aku tuk bergambar tanpa tudung... ah sesuatu aku rasa... hahaha... dia cakap yang lain slow2 kasi angkat kuar... tak angkat kuar pun tak pa... but the kalau boleh elakkan letak gambar yang tak bertudung... ah merajuk ni... tapi itulah arahan suami... YANA A.K.A baby angel... gud luck babe! Not easy yah...lagi la akak tahu Yana anak sulungkan?? Tak biasa di kongkong.... nak tak nak kena ambik cakap suami tu... as long dia tak melangar larangan Allah, Yana kena ikut... sama jugak nasihat tuk semua yang belum kawin... aku tahu aku tak layak nak bagi nasihat... seyes... ada kala aku bebel jugak bila Zamani tak bagi buat itu ini... but itu dah mmg tanggungjawab suami... mendidik kita tuk jadi yang lebih baikkan?
Tersenyum sokmo birthday boy di kala itu... dia nak beli SR... biasalah kek SR mahal nak mampus... 70 ke atas... tapi biasa... kan kan kan??? Dari korang baziq duit... baik korang order something different... confirm sampai mati pun dia ingat...kalau tak ingat lupa diri, fire dia sampai lunyai... yer suki cida garang... sbb tu abang jamani tak berani dengan akak... hehehe...
Konon nak bagi suprise la kat Zamani time tu... nak ambik konsep English Premier League... dah tak cun! pasukan pun salah... 
Comel.... sangat... sayang nak makan... rasa nak simpan je... Oh kak Pnut... Zamani ucapkan terima kasih kat akak sbb susah payah buat ni tuk cida...
Ibu giler tamak... dia ambik semua yang kaitan dengan baby... ayah ambik cupcake aku yang muslimah tu...hahahah macam nurse je gamba tu kak... heheheh sbb all whitekan? Apa pun terima kasih sangat kak Pnut...
Yang ini adik ipar dia order tuk anniversary dan birthday suami dia....
Gambar ni terupload lak... heheh ni gambar bekas tunang aku.... maklumlah aikan dah kawin... tinggal bekas je la kat dia... heheheh.... gambar ni aku suke... habis garang la... padahal aku bulats mata je, Zamani mesti senyum macam kerang busuk... heheheh... 
Mesti tertanya2 mana tok mama dengan wan ni... selalu nak jalan2 bawak Aisyah... tapi kali ni Aisyah kena tinggal plak... and of coz Che Ta kena terangkan Che aisyah sbb every weekend dia request nak stay umah tok mama habiskan 'cuti' dia kat sana... heheh bukan main pakai istilah coti coti yer...
Aku rasa baby ni macam anak buah aku si Mira... hahah betul tak mak ngah??? hahahah... bila dia pakai rambut mcm tu lagi la menampakkan dia Mira... sbb style rambut anak buah aku tu dr kecik sampai la sekarang macam tu jerk... hahahah... betul tak statement tu Cik Hery???
Ni pulak sebijik Rayyan!!!! wakakaka... mata dia...tapi rambut idok la... comel betul... kan kan kan?
Ini pun nan ado lagi...
Ini pun tak...
Ini lagi la.... hahahah tapi yang ni....
